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I Am A Heat-Stroked Mongoloid

Jun 19, 02:25 PM -- by Chaz

The lawn needed to be done. To keep from looking like an abandoned home, it's best that I at least mow the grass. I pay so little attention to the other things that need doing around here a mowed lawn is about the only thing that keeps the evil-doers wondering if there are actually people living inside my home. I was felt it was imperative that it be done today. I could've waited until Saturday or Sunday, but I hate doing yard work on the the weekends; with all the neighbors out walking around I feel like I'm being judged...

I got out in the yard a little later than I had planned and the temperature was already at 85 degrees with a heat index temp of 91. There was a decent breeze and some cloud cover, so I thought if I took it easy all would be fine. I mowed. The first few passes were just fine and felt good, so I started pushing. The sun came out and my sweat glands went into overdrive. I took a couple breaks and drank plenty of cold delicious fluids.

I noticed towards the end of the mowing that the mower was a lot heavier than I remembered. When that was done I broke out the weed whacker. I found myself not trimming according to my usual plan of attack. I was wandering. Instead of my regular counter-clockwise around the yard trimming method, I was going here to there back over to here then back over to there.

The final task today was trimming the hedges and the sun was shining brightly. Sweat poured into my eyes. I would trim some then step back to judge the straightness of my work. Not so level. I found myself standing and staring at the hedges for a little too long, my mouth open and mind wandering. This was not good. I left the hedges lumpy, did a little clean up, put away the tools and joined the dogs lazing about in front of the air conditioner.

A few minutes later I checked the temperatures: 91 with a heat index of 96. I am a pussy.

Two hours later and I am still dizzy, nauseous, and headachey. Though my belly protests, I keep drinking water. I am a mess...

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