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I Like Cars… · Jan 26, 04:31 PM

AND PASSED WITH AN EXCELLENT SCORE! A-
Quiz Created By Auto Insurance

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They Found Me Through Google, Pt. I · Jan 25, 04:18 PM

There are a lot of weird people out there searching for a lot of even weirder things. Many of the weird end up on these pages, and through the magic of analytics, I can tell what search terms they used that brought them here. So, whenever I see a search term in my statistics that makes me giggle, I’m gonna post the search and the result that brought them here to my humble little corner of the web. I generally check my stats every week or so and this will give me an excuse to recycle some of my older posts—making it look like I’m working harder at this than I really am!

Kicking off the inaugural installment is the search term: Strip Bingo. This site popped up as the 7th result. The post was originally written in a sweaty July some years ago (I didn’t have the year turned on), and was originally on The Dropping Balls, the blog dedicated to my old Trivial Bingo scam. Here it is:

Strip Bingo! · Jul 31, 07:56 PM

From the Modest Proposal Department at TrivB Central:

99.9 % of the people agree that this heat is pretty freakin’ oppressive. TrivB wants to do it’s part to help you beat the heat, so August is hereby proclaimed: Strip Bingo Month! Make sure you wear your cleanest skivvies to The Gravity Pub on one of the 5 Tuesdays in August as we bare all for Atlanta’s favorite alcohol fueled fun fest!

Playing couldn’t be easier: At some unknown point during the TrivB festivities, Chaz will declare a game to be Strip Bingo! Then if he calls out a ball that you don’t have, simply remove an article of clothing! The first person naked wins a free drink! There will be winners in other fun categories and games, too! Check it out:

  • Most Interesting Undies
  • Birthmark most resembling Chaz
  • The “No, Really, Leave It On” Award
  • Stuck To The Chair
  • No Tan Lines Achievement Award
  • Lap Dancer Musical Chairs
  • “Stuff A Sock In It!”

Don’t miss out! Drop by! We wanna see all of you!

Of course, it was just a joke and we did no such thing—hence the “Modest Proposal” line at the top of the post. Think about it; if you removed an article of clothing for every number you didn’t have, you’d be all nakey in short order. It sounds like it could be fun, but in reality it would probably be pretty sad…

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Perhaps Even Truer Today · Jan 24, 05:25 AM

Quote of for the year:

Much indeed to be regretted, party disputes are now carried to such a length, and truth is so enveloped in mist and false representation, that it is extremely difficult to know through what channel to seek it. This difficulty to one, who is of no party, and whose sole wish is to pursue with undeviating steps a path which would lead this country to respectability, wealth, and happiness, is exceedingly to be lamented. But such, for wise purposes, it is presumed, is the turbulence of human passions in party disputes, when victory more than truth is the palm contended for.

Brilliant, and so true these days. So who said it?

George Washington wrote it, actually, in a letter dated July 27th, 1795 to Timothy Pickering.

Too bad so many of those who claim that they are acting with this Country’s Founding Fathers as their inspiration seem to have missed this paragraph…

[ h/t The Daily Dish ]

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OK Go Are At It Again · Jan 22, 03:21 PM

Okay, so I’m a wee bit late on this one, but please go check out this video.

Warning: May cause acid flashbacks…

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Don’t Toy With Me GM… · Jan 14, 01:16 PM

Ah, consider the El Camino. Still a dream vehicle for the White Trash set, dontcha know. I’d be proud to park one next to my Jeep Comanche. Little known fact: the El Camino truck/car vehicles were invented in Australia. It’s true! In fact, they still make them down there and they call them “Utes.” Cute, huh?

Holden, the Aussie division of General Motors even calls their modern day El Camino the Ute. Gaze upon it’s loveliness, yet manliness:

There are rumors rumbling inside the General’s executive washroom that they may indeed bring this vehicle to the US and resurrect the Chevy El Camino nameplate. Oh, please do!

Unfortunately, we’ve heard these rumors before and they never panned out. The last time we heard about GM importing this here was for Pontiac, but then they decided to kill the brand instead. Don’t screw with me this time GM… I want one

Hell, I’ll even get a job!

[ h/t: Pickuptrucks.com via Jalopnik ]

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Public Appearance Alert · Jan 11, 04:37 PM

I’ll be opening for Eddie Spaghetti of The Supersuckers at The Gravity Pub on February 5th. In order keep it all legal, the show will be run as a private party with very few tickets available, so good luck getting in. Not that I’m worth the effort, but Eddie definitely is.

This will be the first time I’ve played out since 2004, so it could be interesting(ly bad). I may have some accompaniment to fatten my weak sound and cover my mistakes.

With all the free time I have now that I’ve joined the ranks of the unemployed, I’m hoping to finally have some product to sell at the show in the form of that book I’ve been threatening you with for years.

It’s so close to being finished. So close…

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Fevered · Jan 11, 04:26 PM

Cabin Fever kicked in big time on Sunday. Thank goodness that Chickens & Pigs was playing Dunch at The Earl. Granted, I love my dogs, but I was getting tired of talking to them…

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Snow Plowed · Jan 11, 04:24 PM

It takes just a dusting of snow to shut this town down. Usually, white fluffy precipitation that lands here in the Sunny South melts away almost as soon as it lands. Or at the very least, it stays on the ground just long enough for the panicked populants of The ATL to clear the grocery shelves of bread, milk, and beer.

The arctic blast that arrived just before the one stinking inch of snow we received on Thursday refused to let the temperature rise above the melting point, and even though the sun did it’s level best to rid us of the ice, patches of the stuff remained all over the Metro Area. One feisty ice patch that refused to yield to the warmth was just yards from The Grassy Knoll at the intersection nearest the house. That street enters Flat Shoals Avenue halfway up a slight hill.

When people started to venture out in their cars on Friday, that nasty ice threw several for a loop and I counted 7 accidents in a 24 hour period. All but one of those accidents involved a single car. The Lovely Sandra and I would hear the sounds of spinning tires followed by the metallic thunk of metal hitting street sign, brick wall, or curbing. We’d run to the window to view the aftermath and try to figure out exactly how each vehicle ended up in the position in which they came to rest. Fun, fun!

At one point, I went out to inspect the glacier that had formed. While on the sidewalk in front of  the house of my next door neighbor Bill, who lives on that corner and lost several linear feet of shrubbery to errant Buicks, a Ford Ranger lost control and came directly at me. The little truck wasn’t going very fast so I didn’t feel I was in any danger and therefore I didn’t go running away scared for my life. I stood there as its front wheel hit the curb and bounced back a few inches. The woman behind the wheel hadn’t been as sure as I that I was in no peril, so she had a bit of a fright and rolled down the passenger side window to apologize franticly. I told her all was well and to keep breathing. After assuring her there was no damage and the hit was a slight one, she tried to back up, with rear tires spinning, into the ice patch again for no apparent reason. I got her headed in the right direction. The funny thing was, it was a four wheel drive version of the Ranger but she had not engaged it, leaving her to rely on the rear wheels with little weight above them to aid traction.

I have not been able bothered to confirm this, but I believe we had a few Georgia National Guardsmen out to render assistance. Either that or a few of it’s uniformed members had stopped as good Samaritans to aid some of the damaged drivers.

Exciting times.

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I’m Just Sayin’ · Dec 31, 11:01 PM

Happy Whatever…

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Not With A Bang But A Whimper · Dec 30, 04:31 PM

That’s the way my under-employment ends.

Joe Rockhead is dead, he fell on his head.

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